Problem Relationship? How To Create More Love And Respect In Your Relationships
Have you ever noticed how many people play: “I’m Right, You’re Wrong”? Have you ever wondered why this is so common, especially in close relationships? This problem starts with our culture teaching us to focus our attention on right-wrong thinking.
The good news is that you can unlearn this power-over approach, and start having more genuine cooperation in your relationships. Sound good? Then please keep reading. Just ahead you’ll find five keys to open the doors that lead beyond “Us Against Them” thinking and into the power of “WE.”
Our life journey has included years of “Us vs. Them” training. Growing up, each step along the way we heard: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world,” “Look out for number one,” “Watch your back,” and other such expressions. These created strong mental habits which govern our thinking as well as our actions. Even in our most loving and trusting relationships, we often end up playing the good-bad, right-wrong games.
Got lawyers?
One of the essential skills we all learned is how to prove we are right and defend against being proven wrong. This has become very deeply ingrained. It won’t change overnight, and it won’t change just by “wanting” it to.
The only way to begin shifting this way of thinking is to learn something new: skills and understandings that open the door to new possibilities. Your desire for more co-creative relationships is what prepares you to use the first key.
Key 1 – INTENTION
Are you clear about your intentions? Do you know the difference between a strategy and an intention? Knowing this difference is essential. Without this you tend to get stuck wanting other people to agree with your strategies. This can leave people feeling closed and defensive. Even worse, being attached to one particular strategy dramatically limits your opportunities to be satisfied.
One strategy = One opportunity.
On the other hand, a strategy-free intention describes only what you value and the qualities you want to experience in a situation. Starting with pure intention like this is necessary when creating outcomes that will satisfy everyone. Identifying a clear, strategy-free intention is also essential for using the next key.
Key 2 – ALIGNMENT
Is everyone on the same page? Do you want similar results? Establishing alignment is the second key to successful co-creation. In life, we go about our own lives, trying to achieve our own goals, yet we are all still interconnected. This puts limits on how far we can get in achieving our own results without cooperation.
The process of creating alignment starts by getting clear about what is important to everyone. It’s co-creating a shared vision of success. Beginning by learning alignment paves the way for easy agreements and abundant results, which produces far greater satisfaction for everyone. You need alignment to use the next key.
Key 3 – NEGOTIATION
Will you take everyone’s needs into consideration? Will you keep at it until everyone is satisfied? Understanding the difference between negotiation and compromise plays a big part in being willing and able to stick with the process.
Compromise is the way of an “Us Against Them” world. It begins by identifying what everyone wants. Then you see who’s willing to give up parts of what they want until everyone can live with what’s left. This results from having your attention focused on lack, limitation, and fear. It’s based in the belief that there isn’t enough to go around, so you have to settle for or take whatever you can get.
Negotiation is the way in an abundant world. It begins by identifying what everyone values and what is missing for them. Then, while you keep your attention focused on everyone’s values, strategies will emerge that make it possible for everyone to be satisfied, without any compromise needed. Once everyone is satisfied with the strategies, you’re ready to use key number four.
Key 4 – AGREEMENT
What’s the plan? What needs to happen and who’s willing to do what? After everyone’s had their say, people often people think they’ve made agreements. In reality they’ve only expressed vague understandings of what they want, and how they would like that to happen.
Co-creation relies on your ability to make clear, doable requests that lead to definite agreements. Powerful agreements are specific about who, what, when, where, and how. They include a positive confirmation of each person’s willingness to do their part.
Explicit agreements increase your effectiveness and everyone’s satisfaction. Once you’ve made your powerful agreements you’re all set for key number five.
Key 5 – ACCOUNTABILITY
Will your agreements continue to work for everyone? Will they create the results you want? Without accountability you can’t know if your agreements are actually working. If you wait to find out they aren’t working, you may have already built up dangerous levels of frustration, resentment, and resignation.
You create accountability by setting specific times to review how well your agreements are working, and schedule discussions to see what changes might be needed.
These accountability meetings will allow you to continue practicing the 5 keys of co-creation.
1 – Do you still have a clear INTENTION?
2 – Are you still in ALIGNMENT?
3 – Do you need more NEGOTIATION?
4 – Is it time to make new AGREEMENTS?
5 – How will you ensure ongoing ACCOUNTABILITY?
Accountability is the final key that opens the doors to the co-creative power of “WE.”
Now you have all five keys that open the doors that lead down the path to co-creating genuine partnerships. We hope you choose to learn more about these five key skills and commit to practicing them in all of your important relationships.
Practice makes perfect, but these keys are only the beginning. If you’re looking for honest and practical
relationship advice that supports a healthy lifestyle, sign up for our thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series.
Each tip offers real world advice for creating and maintaining the relationships that you’ve always wanted.
Or visit us at: http://www.FocusedAttention.com
Article from articlesbase.com
Wedding Anniversary Gift Baskets-Years 10-12
A wedding anniversary is a joyous occasion to celebrate the day that two people exchanged vows and became a family. If you want to give the couple a gift, you may want to consider a gift basket. This is a creative, personal way to send best wishes to the happy couple. As each anniversary has certain gifts, colors, and flowers attached to them, it may be helpful for you to know what these are so that you can incorporate them in your gift basket.
The tenth anniversary is one of the milestones of married life. The traditional gift for this occasion is tin and aluminum which represents the durability of the marriage as well as the flexibility. The modern gift is leather (or imitation leather) which also symbolizes the durability of the long-term union. The flower for the tenth anniversary is the daffodil which represents joy, happiness, and cheerfulness. The sweet pea is also associated with this occasion and symbolizes blissful pleasure. The colors are silver or blue.
To create a tenth anniversary traditional basket, you can include items such as tin antiques toys, tin boxes filled with money or a gift certificate, and tin wall decorations. You can also purchase a set of aluminum pie pans as well as a roaster pan. For a contemporary basket, you can purchase leather clothing, leather book binders, or a leather briefcase or purse. For an antique basket, you can trim the basket with dull silver ribbon and sprinkle sweet pea around it. For a more colorful theme, you can use bright silver and blue ribbon and place daffodils around it.
The traditional gift for the eleventh anniversary is steel which symbolizes durability and strength. The modern gift is jewelry, the diamond and the onyx being the two gemstones associated with this anniversary. The flower is the lilac which represents first love and the color is turquoise.
To create a traditional gift basket, you can purchase stainless steel silverware, a stainless steel wine rack, or even a stainless steel wallet. You could also include stainless steel napkin rings, candlestick holders, and stainless steel wine glasses to compliment the dinner table. If you wish to include jewelry in your gift basket, an onyx ring or necklace would be an acceptable gift. Unless you are a close family member, diamonds are probably inappropriate. Since turquoise is the color that is associated with this occasion, turquoise jewelry would also be acceptable. Bright turquoise trimming and lilacs scattered around the basket would be a colorful touch.
For the twelfth anniversary, silks and linens which represent the home are the traditional gift while pearls are the contemporary one. The flower is the lily that represents beauty, purity, and hope and oyster white is the color.
To create an anniversary basket for this occasion, you could include towels, washcloths, or bedding. You could also include silk clothing as well as silk accessories for the household, such as curtains or a silk flower centerpiece. For a contemporary gift basket, you could include seashells in your basket design as well as gluing pearl-shaped white beads around the rim of it. If you decide to do this, you may want to finish your basket with ribbon that is a different color than oyster white. A darker color will make the pearls stand out more. You could purchase an imitation pearl bracelet for her and a pearl keychain for him to place inside two of the shells. You could also include pearl-shaped bath oils and other bathing accessories. If you wish to trim your basket with the oyster white then you should scatter several lilies around the inside that are not white. Too much white can make your basket appear to be bland.
These are just a few of the many ways that you can use the information about anniversaries to create a unique and meaningful gift basket. Let your imagination run wild and see where it will lead you. Happy basket making!
We have baby gift baskets that are cute and practical. Perfect for the newborn and new moms. Another article with more information on this topic can be found at http://www.beauty-and-health-tips.com/baby-gift-baskets.html
Article from articlesbase.com
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